Bell Let’s Talk

We’ve started a conversation about mental health. Now, let’s take it one step further. Let’s fight to end the stigma surrounding mental illness.

In September 2010, Bell Let’s Talk began a new conversation about Canada’s mental health. At that time, most people were not talking about mental illness. But the numbers spoke volumes about the urgent need for action. Millions of Canadians, including leading personalities engaged in an open discussion about mental illness, offering new ideas and hope for those who struggle, with numbers growing every year. For every text, call, tweet and Instagram post, Facebook video view and use of Snapchat geofilter, Bell will contribute 5 ¢ more to mental health initiatives. #BellLetsTalk 

If you are on social media, please use the hashtag #BellLetsTalk today to raise money and awareness about mental health – even if you’re not based in Canada.

I’ve talked at length about toxic masculinity in the sporting world – but the conversation needs to continue because:

• Mental health problems are one of the main causes of overall disease burden in the world
• 1 in 6 people this past week will experience a common mental health problem
• In 2013, 6233 suicides were recorded in the UK – and 78% of those were male
• 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year
• And shockingly, 9 out of 10 people with mental health problems experience stigma and discrimination

In 2011, NHL player Rick Rypien committed suicide. The player had struggled with clinical depression during his life. He was 27 years old.

On the 10th November 2009, the goalkeeper for Hannover 96 and the German national team, Robert Enke, committed suicide by jumping in front of a train. His wife, Teresa, had to identify his remains at the scene and was so traumatised, she needed to be sedated. For six years, Robert had been suffering from depression and had been seeing a therapist. Robert and Teresa had one daughter, named Lara, who suffered from a rare heart defect and died when she was only two. Robert visited her grave everyday and, it is believed, this reinforced his depression.  After the death of Lara, they adopted a daughter, named Leila, but Robert feared that, due to his depression, she would be taken away from them.

“I tried to tell him that there is always a solution. I drove to training with him. I wanted to help him to get through it. He didn’t want to accept help any more.” – Teresa.

Robert left a suicide note in which he apologised to his family, friends and team for misleading them all that he was feeling better and said that his suicide plans were necessary.On the third anniversary of his death, Teresa has set up a hotline for athletes suffering similar problems to Robert’s. There is also the Robert Enke foundation.

DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE. Someone will always be ready to listen and to help you. You do not have to carry this burden on your own.

“I can never take something positive from his death, I can only try and transform the negatives into positives. His chance means a chance to help others.” – Teresa

#BellLetsTalk

Toxic Masculinity Part One – Suppressing Emotions

This post will focus on toxic masculinity which has become a bit of a buzzword for feminists, but it is an important topic that needs addressing. It holds that imposing masculinity on men can be harmful, particularly as the typical masculine gender role is one associated with violence, assertiveness, independence, and non-emotional. There are several facets to the concept of toxic masculinity which will be explored through the series of these posts.

To understand toxic masculinity in a sporting context, firstly we ought to examine how these gender stereotypes begin to influence from birth. Masculinity is difficult to define and measure, furthermore cross-cultural differences also play a role therefore this will focus on the westernized view of ‘being a man’.  Just as femininity encourages women to be thin, beautiful, and motherly, masculinity commands that men be an unattainable ideal of an emotionally-stunted invincible hero. Both are unrealistic and damaging. In a study by Smith and Lloyd (1978), new mothers played with an actor baby who was presented as either male or female and dressed in gender typical clothes (i.e. in pink when ‘a girl’). Results showed that when the child was believed to be male, the women engaged in more physical play, encouraged gross motor activity, and reached for the “male” toys. Girl’s toys are usually pink, dolls, or miniature kitchens, whereas boys toys have wheels, are weapons, or sports related. Another study has shown that men handle a baby less than women – perhaps as boys are discouraged from playing with dolls and girls are praised for being maternal. An important finding was that the majority guessed the child was male due to physical and behavioral indicators like being strong  – the child in the study was actually female.  The scariest thing is that this happens from birth; Rubin, Provenzano, and Luria (1974) showed that although there were no significant physical differences between newborns, parents already described the girls as little, cute, and pretty – these babies were 24 hours old! (No offense to the new parents out there, but newborns fresh from the womb are anything but pretty).

Boys are more likely to receive physical punishments than girls. I don’t believe for a moment that boys are naughtier than girls, however boys are allowed to be more boisterous – it’s not ladylike to fight, when boys are physically aggressive, well it’s just boys being boys. I wonder if any gentlemen reading this have been told that boys don’t cry? Girls are allowed to cry, girls are allowed to seek comfort when they’re hurting, but boys? Big boys don’t cry.

This leads in nicely to one part of toxic masculinity which is emotional suppression. When you tell a boy that he shouldn’t cry, that he shouldn’t seek comfort when he’s hurting, you are damaging his emotional responses. Boys are consistently comforted less than girls and told to control their emotions. An inability to recognise and respond to emotions can have serious adverse effects for a man, such as repressing emotions or externalising them through destructive behaviours. Although women are more likely to be diagnosed with a mental health disorder, mean are four times more likely to commit suicide. One has to wonder whether 1) men are not seeking help hence the under-representation of mental disorders in this population  2) this reluctance is, in part, due to their socialisation that expressing emotions is a weakness. Mental health struggles are not a sign of weakness. 

A professional sporting environment is a hub of hyper-masculinity. In a sport like hockey where a fist fight on the ice is part of your run-of-the-mill day, it’s easy to see why men are reluctant to come forwards and discuss their emotions. Nobody wants to be called a pussy. In November 2009, German footballer Robert Enke committed suicide by standing in front of a train. Following his death, his wife confirmed that he had struggled with depression for several years, and recently had difficulty coping with the pressure of being a professional footballer and the death of his daughter. In August 2011, ice hockey player Rick Rypien committed suicide. He had battled depression for a decade or more. Rick was considered small for NHL standards, but never shied away from a fight (if you’re suffering from depression and society tells you it’s a weakness, one way to show them you’re not is by throwing punches).

He played the game with such reckless abandon and a fearlessness. He had cuts and bruises and nicks on his face, it seemed like a new one every night.

The NHL has made steps to raise awareness of mental health and Rypien’s close friend, Kevin Bieksa, has played a pivotal role in tackling attitudes towards mental illness. The Bell Let’s Talk campaign is also a positive step with many players lending their voice to it. Robert’s widow, Teresa, works with the German FA and Hannover 96 to promote awareness and remove the stigma attached to mental health. It can be a big step for men to acknowledge that they need help – Enke was asked by the team’s sport psychologist if he was suffering from depression and denied it – so Teresa makes a great point:

We don’t want sports people to go public and say we have depression. There’s no need to communicate it publicly. The help should be given internally. The coaches and the teams should help and support the player and let them know they can come back from it.

Breaking down these barriers in a sports environment is a positive sign, but is important to recognise that from a young age the masculine ideal of being strong and silent can be damaging and is often reinforced. The steps ought to be taken earlier; information on mental health should be made readily available from a youth level, including how to seek help, because even young people commit suicide.

If you have been affected by any of the subjects raised in this post then please don’t hesitate to reach out for help.